Post #2: The Journal of Casual Drinking: Justified Edition

So the second post I figured I`d keep up the whole “writing down words until coherent sentences are formed” thing. Look at that, I`m doing great! So today I thought I`d help you justify what other people might call a “problem”, “disease”, or “reason for fist fighting a cop while simultaneously trying to grab a second cops baton and hurl it at a street vendor”. Of course I`m referring to alcohol (disclaimer: I`m speaking of ethanol alcohol in beer, wine, etc. not rubbing alcohol or other forms that sad people drink). Turns out the same substance responsible for teen pregnancies and cirrhosis is also good for preventing heart disease, limiting oxidation damage (often due to stress), and making everyone think you’re the funniest most attractive person ever!

Drunk-guy

“Who me?”
Yes you unreformed old guy, society wants you to wear that hat as the manufacturer intended but you just won`t will you? You old charmer!

However, the key here is Moderation. That`s a word that actually applies to everything fairly well, be it drinking, masturbating, or updating your facebook status. People who take in about 3 drinks a day, be it wine, beer, or a mixed liquor drink actually tend to live longer than people who abstain. They also live a lot longer than people who define a few drinks at dinner as 24 Budweiser and a bag of Lays salt and vinegar.¬† Red wines ( and yes even white wines) contain a little compound called resveratrol which acts as a fine anti-oxidant and has been shown to kill certain cancer cells, lower blood pressure and even reduce irregular heart rates (http://link.springer.com.qe2a-proxy.mun.ca/article/10.1007/s10741-010-9163-9/fulltext.html). This was found in a study by Dipak Das from the UCONN School of Medicine. While wines appear to be the best, regardless of the form of alcoholic drink, lifespan is found to increase with moderate intake (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1615277/). Does this take into account all the alcohol associated risks such as driving accidents, liver problems in high dose, and suicide cases because someones saw a video of themselves genuinely into pitbull from the night before…yes! I`m sure it goes without saying that a rum and coke isn’t going to be as good for you as a straight wine but the science says its still better than nothing! 3 seems to be the magic number for the most part and has been for a while (it was suggested back in 1861 by Dr. Anstie). There`s even a German proverb which says “there’s more old wine drinkers than old doctors” and Germans are never wrong about anything (shut up, don`t say it). So be sure not to over do it…

drunk-fat-guy-600x521

“Like this?”
No…not at ALL like that

But don`t under do it either…

WineIsForClassyClassyMen_174

“like this”
Jesus, no! Relax before you have an aneurism doc

This isn’t as difficult as these people make it out to be. In my opinion, if you`re a lightweight or haven’t really been much of a casual drinker before maybe start off with just one drink with supper and if your`e tolerance allows it, maybe a drink with lunch, and 2 in the evening with or after supper to help you unwind a little. It goes without saying if you feel genuinely buzzed maybe slow your roll a little. So relax, have a drink ( note: never ingest a “drank” under any circumstance), and let science take you to longevity land.

Girls-beer-drinking01

“Wike Dis”
Fuck it, close enough

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3 thoughts on “Post #2: The Journal of Casual Drinking: Justified Edition

  1. Pingback: Post #2: The Journal of Casual Drinking: Justified Edition | Eat Codes

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